Do not know a single adult who does not have them, not everyone deals with them, but we all have them.
These are the wounds of our past life experience leading up to this day. I think of them as strands of yarn, our experiences that get woven together, (I love that image). some of the yarn has knots.
If we can take an honest look at them and have a person to share how you feel about it, think about it, why the knots are there in the firstplace, who tied the knots... the more we understand the knts, the easier they are to untie.
Sometimes th eknots take a long time to untie but that is what a relationship is. growing and untieng knots together, supporting each other and empowering eachother to untie the knots or cut them out to make room for new pieces of cloth. Your new piece of cloth.
A baby means, we are a family now.
for the sake of our family, weave a better cloth, stronger, more tight knit, with nicer patterns, brighter colors. less knots.
The problem with not dealing with the knots can be catastrophic. Most of us are fine human beings. good hearts, enjoy our freedoms, do the work.
It's hard to be strong enough to deal with emotional problems. We amplify the problem because we made a baby and a promise to a person which means if we do not choose to grow up, mature to the next level in development as a human which is usually adulthood, (defines as a fully grown human who is able to understand another persons perspective while being cool, not loosing control , maturity means taking responsibility for our selves and also reaping the rewards of taking responsibility, the love, intimacy,sex,empowerment,support) however seems some people are at the same emotional level as they were in college and sometimes High school.
Sticking it in and making a baby does not a man maketh. Is it hard to understand about the responsibilities of manhood if they were not taught to us.
If we do not know how to do the duties of a mature, adult, human being and find out that a baby is on the way it is a stellar opportunity to learn how, to grow improve on what was given to us.
To grow we need to deal with and acknowledge there are areas to grow. Know many of us were mommas precious liitle one, and never had to work around the home and daddy was not not the most expressive and did not feel empowered as a man himself, this does not mean we cannot change all of that.
If we Just need to accept where we need to grow and work on it with all tools possible while our partner also figures there stuff out. The quicker grow as a person, own up to our actions, behaviors, what we say, how we say it, what we do and who we do it with.
The better and more fulfilled our life will be.
Sometimes we meet someone and the idea of healing old wounds, the glimpse of a better experience motivates us and then we realize it takes work and effort and we never had to work hard before and then we decide the work is too much for us and I do not want to be nagged about it.
without sharing with the person we agreed to share everything with that we were having a hard time dealing with the work, rising up to the challenge so they never get the opportunity to be there with us and support us. instead our partner gets left holding the bag with all of the responsibility of raising children which is massive, the survival of life that we ourselves created...pretty big deal.
to get the work done. we all can do the work,
the missing link is and then we look outward.
while teaching the kids how to do it better.
Good to get that